Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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