yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
