i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize