AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
