He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
