Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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