3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
