Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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