He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
