Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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