i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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