He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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