Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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