How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
