im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
