where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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