Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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