either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
