The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
