You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
