I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
