dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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