The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
