corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
