Dual....:-)
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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