I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
