Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
