So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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