I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
