that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
