I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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