this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
