So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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