why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
