goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
