sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
