If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We're too hungover to prance.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
