I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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