So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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