I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
