My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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