are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
