I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize