its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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