i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
