I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
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