Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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