Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
