My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
