I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
