kristin has been a bad kristin
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
