This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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