To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
