im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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