I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
