is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
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if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
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He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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