So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
