That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
