but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
