People in love make me want to vomit
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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