Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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